And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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