Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my phone needs a breathalizer
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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