Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
