Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
