They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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