you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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