the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
