I just cut my nipple shaving
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
