I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
