Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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