I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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