Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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