Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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