and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
