if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize