I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
