Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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