I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
