so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
