Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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