please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
