we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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