I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize