this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
