i think my tv is drunk
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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