well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
