one two three fourrrrnication!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
