And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
