I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Princesses don't give blow jobs
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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