i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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