I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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