He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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