Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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