dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize