Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize