i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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