i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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