booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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