Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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