i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
