Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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