Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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