does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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