He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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