If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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