My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
