I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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