i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
