she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
