You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
