So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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