Define "chronic" masturbator.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
