His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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