Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize