I want to have your abortion
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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