Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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