The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
