omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ketchup is God's man juice
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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