i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
