Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
