No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Text me some of your sweat
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