I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
